i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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