i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
