Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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