So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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