Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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