update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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