this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
