Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
