wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
