Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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