Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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