I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
