Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
