So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
