Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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