you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
