Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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