I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
