HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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