Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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