Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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