I love black thongs
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
