last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
