dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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