It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
