i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
