Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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