If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
this hospital has no fireball
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize