weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
