I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
