You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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