she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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