It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
