We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
