I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
