capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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