Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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