he puts the penis in happiness.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
