i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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