holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize