Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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