Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
