we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
