I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize