We should be called the Road Head Warriors
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm both gender and math confused
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
