oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
