i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
