Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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