Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
