I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm like, not good at living.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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