does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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