i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
