Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
