And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
