does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
