Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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