we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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