I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
