thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
