You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize