Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
