I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
