A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
