i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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